I guess I'll start with Birdemic....

I guess I'll start off with a pretty notorious film, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, a extremely low budget horror film. This film was, shockingly, streaming on Netflix. I decided to give it a go. Before seeing this film, I watched an internet critic named Phelous do a video review of the film (which I highly recommend, the review is actually funnier than the movie, perhaps funnier than this review). This film was pretty much what I expected it to be: it is horrendous. This premise is as simple as 1-2-3, good-looking super model meets good-looking super model, they fall in love, and get attacked by birds while pathetically delivering a piss-poor environmental message.  This film is not so much bad as technically and aesthetically inept. It's not really a film, it's just a waste of non-talent. Now, of course, there is that camp that says it is "so bad it's funny". Well, yes, I agree with that up to a point. When I first watched it, I chuckled, knowing that I was watching a train wreck (and not a beautiful one but an ugly, retarded one). What with it's terrible editing, poor sound quality, awkward wooden puppet acting, clip art special effects, and horrendous dialogue. But, the film gets extremely grating after awhile and even boring. It's badness is overwhelming to the point where I was just plain annoyed. I was doing my German homework when I watched this film and there are long stretches where, literally, nothing happens. I took the time during those large gaps of nothingness to work on my dative and genitive verb tenses without being distracted. I'll give credit where credit's due: it's very consistent in its terrible filmmaking. It's like being constantly hit in the head with a pipe. Geez, at least Troll 2 was trying to be a good film. Since there is a much better review of this film on Phelous.com, I'll stop bothering you. This first review was just a test of my writing and reviewing skills. If you like really bad films (which means you've probably already seen it), I guess I'll recommend it but a fair bit of warning, it gets to be too much after awhile. There's only so much badness one can take in one sitting. The elements that make the film so bad start to become tiring and repetitive. So that was my first movie review. Well, it technically wasn't a film but you get the point. Next time, I'm gonna start reviewing more mainstream films, I promise you. Low budget and exploitation films are way too easy targets, which is why I recommend the Cinema Snob for that. It's kinda pathetic when you start recommending better film reviewers other than your own. I suck. That's all for now.